[Elliot does not cry. It's not that he isn't grateful to see Sesa again, but rather that his tear ducts have long dried up. Still, he embraces Sesa with that same passion, fingers tangling with his hair, other hand gripping his jacket for dear life. He winds up in Sesa's lap in the end, cradling his head into his chest to let him sob it out.]
How long have I been gone, my love?
[It doesn't feel like that long. But... oof, it's the end of October now. It's been a month, hasn't it?]
[Sesa manages through his tears, which...isn't fully an answer, but it's the most that can be expected of him for the time being. He's so relieved to see Elliot again, but that doesn't mean he's having a good time. He is...he just is. He just wants to take him home and go to bed for the rest of the month. This Halloween sucked.]
I missed you....are you...how are you...?
[Top ten worst questions to ask someone who just experienced an Oripathy death but hey]
[Elliot thumbs away those tears as best he can, even if they keep falling. He'll keep trying until Sesa runs out or exhausts himself.]
In pain. My chest hasn't stopped hurting ever since his claws pierced through my ribs, and I was casting without my Arts Unit. Yet somehow, despite being a dead man walking, I've managed to come back. Were I not so tired, perhaps I would consider it a miracle.
[In Sesa's defense, he does try to swallow the hiss that rolls through him when Elliot admits to still being in pain, but he...does not succeed. He hisses like an angry cobra, a snarling growl that vibrates against the Liberi through his haggard breathing as he pulls him in even closer, breathing him in and reminding himself that he is alive. He is actually here, struggling or no.]
...it's going to be okay. I promise you this.
[He gently brushes auburn bangs from his face, helping him to sit up.]
Just tell me when you are ready to go. I can carry you, if you do not feel like walking.
[They should leave, it's true. They should get up and head out... but Elliot knows that, once they leave, he's going to have something taken from him. He'd like to say he doesn't fear it, but he has no idea what it could possibly rip away from him. Part of him doesn't want to find out.
But he must. He must, and Sesa will be with him the entire time. He tells himself it has to be okay. It must.]
I would like to use my legs, unless they are taken from me. Allow me this much.
[He takes Sesa's hand. And Nene's, of course, she's their ticket out of here.]
Let's go.
[And so they go. Out of the oppressive fog, into the woods again, and as soon as they step out of the threshold of the Garden, Elliot collapses and suddenly brings their intertwined hands up to his head, a scream of agony ripped from his throat. His head is pounding, stars blotting his vision and the world spinning for a solid minute and a half after...
...but there's no damage. Physically, nothing seems to be wrong, and he stills and calms shortly after, standing up shakily and continuing to walk on.]
[Sesa had been bracing himself for it, but...he had never been truly prepared. How could you be prepared, knowing that your partner is about to go through something heinous on top of everything else he'd been through, just for the privilege of being able to live again? It's nearly unbearable.
So when Elliot suddenly collapses and starts to scream, Sesa falls to his knees alongside him pretty much immediately, placing his hand on his shoulder to keep him supported. He doesn't know what to do, or say, to help him...but before he can think of anything in the moment, Elliot is already rising to his feet to continue forward.
He...he doesn't appear hurt. Is he really...?]
Love? Are you alright?
[Sesa knows- he KNOWS- it's not always something physical they lose.]
[He's not physically hurt. A little disoriented now, his head really fucking hurts, but at this point the initial wave of agony is gone and now it's merely a migraine. A bad one, mind, but nothing Elliot hasn't lived before, what with his Oripathy giving him constant headaches and fatigue anyway. Really, aren't migraines his whole life?
So he walks on, hand-in-hand with Sesa and little Nene, and he shakes his head.]
Allow me a moment to think... my head pounds, yet I find that I can still stand, so perhaps my punishment isn't as harsh as that of Wolfwood or Mizuki's.
[After all, they physically lost something. A limb and a voice. And Elliot can still speak. He can still think. He has both eyes, unlike Elsword. Both legs, both hands, all of his fingers. His headwings re-situate himself on top of his head and he knows they, too, remain, as do the tailfeathers that bounce against his thighs as they walk. His hair is a familiar tickle upon his cheeks.
He leans into Sesa and thinks of what could be wrong. His head hurt, so clearly he's (maybe?) not missing vital organs (he hopes?) and he's capable of moving on his own, though he's well-aware they have to hold hands to get back.
He thinks. Traces through all of his memories. The Doctor, Kal'tsit, Old Isin, Professor Thorne, the party he accompanied back to Sargon — Eunectes and Tuye and Manticore...
It takes until they're back in the Grove for him to piece it together. Realisation dawns on him in the same minute something like an empty, black void opens up deep in his heart. For a moment, he gazes searchingly at Sesa, eyes roaming every inch of his face. Every memory they have together fills his mind at once. Sesa's proposal on the beach. Their first kiss shared in the inn, while Elliot was being too damn possessive over Sesa and telling him he'd never let him go. Their occasional brushes past at Rhodes Island and Sargon proper, where Elliot was again far too unhealthy over Sesa and Sesa was equally unhealthy in return. All of them, even the little ones like the snow in Sesa's hair last winter and the way he'd learnt to braid Elliot's hair.
[There...still is a punishment. Like, there has to be, right? It wouldn't make sense for Elliot to react in such a pained way and to just be fine afterwards. But from Sesa's cursory once-overs of him, and then twice and third-overs, he seems...physically okay, considering. He's not missing any limbs, he can see and hear enough that he's able to still walk just fine. He's speaking verbally to him and seems completely coherent. To that end, Sesa can't help but ask himself:
What changed?
It's a scary question to ponder, and even scarier to try and have answered.
They walk for a time, and the anticipation of something...anything makes it difficult for Sesa to focus on anything else. He's giving Elliot the time and space he asked for though, patient in that regard even though it feels like he's vibrating from the inside out.
Until...
...
The sound of their footsteps is deafening, and Elliot's words are so stunning to hear that Sesa actually stops their progression yet again (sorry Nene they'll get out eventually), turning to look at the Liberi directly.]
...when? I...
[You don't...?]
We were in Sargon. I had been dispatched with Heavyrain.
[Strange... that name isn't familiar to him. They'll get back to the Grove just in time for Elliot to mention that; he doesn't want to have this conversation in front of a little girl, and he'd rather carry out the rest in the safety of the workshop, so that's where he heads. He still has no idea that there are doppelgängers about still; this hasn't exactly reached him from the Garden.]
I don't recognize the name. As far as my memory stretches back... one day, aboard the landship, you and I had lunch together in the cafeteria. Matterhorn had made our meal that day, and we were talking as though we had known each other for a fair amount of time. [Because they had; that was the lunch they had together after they'd gotten back from Sargon and Elliot had signed on with Rhodes Island, so while they weren't more than acquaintances at that point, they did know each other well enough to carry on a basic conversation.] I can tell — I know — that wasn't where we met.
It all starts rapidly clicking into place, then, like a puzzle that Sesa doesn't want to complete. His only solace here is that Elliot didn't forget him entirely, because, well...he's not sure how he would have coped with that. Poorly, if at all.
His expression, though a bit hard to read, carries a deep sadness etched into his features. It isn't as if their first meeting was anything grand or special, especially when they both weren't exactly best friends at the start. But it still meant something. Means everything, now, given that they're bethrothed to be wed someday.
Sesa stands opposite Elliot in the workshop now as they discuss it, worrying the engagement ring he still wears on his finger.]
...what a cruel thing. As if the Creature hasn't taken enough from you already. Your pain, your suffering...now your memory.
[...]
And you don't remember...anything? Just as you said?
I remember what I told you. As far as I can tell, I have no other gaps within my memory. I wish I did not have a gap at all, but here I stand.
[He forgot Heavyrain, just like Hypergryph—]
That is all it took. Perhaps because of the importance of it, though even without it, I know I would not be where I am if it weren't for you. Do not worry your ring so. [He reaches out to take Sesa's hand, giving it a squeeze. Elliot's hands are quite a bit more slender, yet still calloused from years of tinkering with his electrical devices and machines.] I remember every other moment we've spent together, and my feelings for you are only strengthened. It cannot take that from me.
[All it takes is Elliot taking his hand for Sesa to stop fidgeting with his own, his shoulders relaxing a little as their fingers intertwine. It's so warm...a reminder to the Vouivre that he is, in fact, here. He's here. He's alive. He's forgotten...a very important memory, but...
The Forest did not take him. That's what matters.
He feels his throat tighten a little, prompting him to draw Elliot in close so he can press their lips together in a kiss that's as passionate as it is tinged with sadness. He runs the fingers of his free hand through the Liberi's long hair, breathing against his lips the moment they part, ever so slightly.]
I love you. More than life itself. And I'm...so very thankful you are still here.
I love you, Sesa. Know that I will not leave this world behind — I'm far too stubborn to let some pseudo-deity and its pawn with self-control issues take me from you.
[When he leaves this world, it'll probably be because of his Oripathy... but let's not think about that. Let's think about embracing Sesa instead, which is what he's doing now, arms around his neck.]
[The wording makes him laugh, a little sad and wet sounding thought it is. Sesa is just a sad, wet bug right now man :(]
The reassurance is appreciated. I know well you are more resilient than most give you credit for. You have persisted through ordeals that would take down a weaker man.
[It’s said with such excessive fondness it’s kindof disgusting, actually. He’ll embrace him right back, too, pressing a kiss just to the edge of one of his head-wings.]
[Headwing flick into Sesa's face... sorry, involuntary reaction.]
Come, dear, let us lie down. Admittedly, I did not bathe in the Garden — being dead, I suppose, removes the need for basic human needs such as bathing and food — and I would enjoy soaking in our tub with you.
[He doesn't feel dirty and gross except for the normal forest grime from the travel, but like... it's the principle of the thing. He needs to feel like a person again. He needs a bath with his fiance.]
[He does not mind. An involuntary whack to the face with a wing is proof Elliot lives, so he can do that as much as he likes. He'll take a moment to brush a lock of long, auburn hair from his eyes at the same time, shifting to the side so they can head towards the bath.]
It would be my pleasure, my heart. Truth be told, I could certainly use it myself...
[He uh
Well he's not going to say he's been depression not-bathing for a couple days, but he's not going to say he HASN'T either-]
[Listen it's fine to depression not-bathe when your fiance fucking died, that's okay we can't all function during periods of grief. To that end, to the bath they go, where Elliot quickly disrobes (and tries not to let Sesa see the claw-scars in between his ribs where Vash gored him, likely to no avail) and sinks into the water while the tub is still filling.
He knows the sight will be upsetting. He's trying, somewhat, to hide them. His back scars from his time as a slave, well, Sesa has seen those ten thousand times before... but these are new. These are far more raw emotionally.]
[No matter how he tries to hide them, they will still unfortunately be impossible for Sesa to miss. They stand out in sharp relief against his paler skin, and it...hurts. It really does. Like...
He's told Vash off already. He could have killed him to make a point, as revenge, but...he couldn't. But he made it clear that if this happened again, he'd not have mercy the next time. He's still not sure if such things would make him feel better, or worse. He just knows that this whole situation has weighed hard on them both, and he is thankful Elliot could actually come back to life.
If he couldn't...Sesa isn't sure how that would have changed him. He just knows it would have been very, very bad.
His tail drags the floor as he makes his way to the tub's edge, dropping articles of clothing as he goes. Scaled shoulderblades flex as he tosses his jacket and shirt onto the floor nearby before carefully stepping into the water alongside Elliot, shifting to face away from him so his hair can be washed more easily.]
Thank you.
[...]
If you're hurting at all, please say so. We can see if there's something at the clinic that will help.
They're merely phantom pains. I don't believe there's anything that can be done.
[And he's super not interested in trying. Just let him rest.
Either way, he's lathed up his hands and is happily combing his fingers through Sesa's hair. It's scruffly, but soft, and he truly did miss getting to do this much.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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How long have I been gone, my love?
[It doesn't feel like that long. But... oof, it's the end of October now. It's been a month, hasn't it?]
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[Sesa manages through his tears, which...isn't fully an answer, but it's the most that can be expected of him for the time being. He's so relieved to see Elliot again, but that doesn't mean he's having a good time. He is...he just is. He just wants to take him home and go to bed for the rest of the month. This Halloween sucked.]
I missed you....are you...how are you...?
[Top ten worst questions to ask someone who just experienced an Oripathy death but hey]
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In pain. My chest hasn't stopped hurting ever since his claws pierced through my ribs, and I was casting without my Arts Unit. Yet somehow, despite being a dead man walking, I've managed to come back. Were I not so tired, perhaps I would consider it a miracle.
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...it's going to be okay. I promise you this.
[He gently brushes auburn bangs from his face, helping him to sit up.]
Just tell me when you are ready to go. I can carry you, if you do not feel like walking.
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But he must. He must, and Sesa will be with him the entire time. He tells himself it has to be okay. It must.]
I would like to use my legs, unless they are taken from me. Allow me this much.
[He takes Sesa's hand. And Nene's, of course, she's their ticket out of here.]
Let's go.
[And so they go. Out of the oppressive fog, into the woods again, and as soon as they step out of the threshold of the Garden, Elliot collapses and suddenly brings their intertwined hands up to his head, a scream of agony ripped from his throat. His head is pounding, stars blotting his vision and the world spinning for a solid minute and a half after...
...but there's no damage. Physically, nothing seems to be wrong, and he stills and calms shortly after, standing up shakily and continuing to walk on.]
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[Sesa had been bracing himself for it, but...he had never been truly prepared. How could you be prepared, knowing that your partner is about to go through something heinous on top of everything else he'd been through, just for the privilege of being able to live again? It's nearly unbearable.
So when Elliot suddenly collapses and starts to scream, Sesa falls to his knees alongside him pretty much immediately, placing his hand on his shoulder to keep him supported. He doesn't know what to do, or say, to help him...but before he can think of anything in the moment, Elliot is already rising to his feet to continue forward.
He...he doesn't appear hurt. Is he really...?]
Love? Are you alright?
[Sesa knows- he KNOWS- it's not always something physical they lose.]
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So he walks on, hand-in-hand with Sesa and little Nene, and he shakes his head.]
Allow me a moment to think... my head pounds, yet I find that I can still stand, so perhaps my punishment isn't as harsh as that of Wolfwood or Mizuki's.
[After all, they physically lost something. A limb and a voice. And Elliot can still speak. He can still think. He has both eyes, unlike Elsword. Both legs, both hands, all of his fingers. His headwings re-situate himself on top of his head and he knows they, too, remain, as do the tailfeathers that bounce against his thighs as they walk. His hair is a familiar tickle upon his cheeks.
He leans into Sesa and thinks of what could be wrong. His head hurt, so clearly he's (maybe?) not missing vital organs (he hopes?) and he's capable of moving on his own, though he's well-aware they have to hold hands to get back.
He thinks. Traces through all of his memories. The Doctor, Kal'tsit, Old Isin, Professor Thorne, the party he accompanied back to Sargon — Eunectes and Tuye and Manticore...
It takes until they're back in the Grove for him to piece it together. Realisation dawns on him in the same minute something like an empty, black void opens up deep in his heart. For a moment, he gazes searchingly at Sesa, eyes roaming every inch of his face. Every memory they have together fills his mind at once. Sesa's proposal on the beach. Their first kiss shared in the inn, while Elliot was being too damn possessive over Sesa and telling him he'd never let him go. Their occasional brushes past at Rhodes Island and Sargon proper, where Elliot was again far too unhealthy over Sesa and Sesa was equally unhealthy in return. All of them, even the little ones like the snow in Sesa's hair last winter and the way he'd learnt to braid Elliot's hair.
All of them... except:]
Sesa, my love... when did we first meet?
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What changed?
It's a scary question to ponder, and even scarier to try and have answered.
They walk for a time, and the anticipation of something...anything makes it difficult for Sesa to focus on anything else. He's giving Elliot the time and space he asked for though, patient in that regard even though it feels like he's vibrating from the inside out.
Until...
...
The sound of their footsteps is deafening, and Elliot's words are so stunning to hear that Sesa actually stops their progression yet again (sorry Nene they'll get out eventually), turning to look at the Liberi directly.]
...when? I...
[You don't...?]
We were in Sargon. I had been dispatched with Heavyrain.
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I don't recognize the name. As far as my memory stretches back... one day, aboard the landship, you and I had lunch together in the cafeteria. Matterhorn had made our meal that day, and we were talking as though we had known each other for a fair amount of time. [Because they had; that was the lunch they had together after they'd gotten back from Sargon and Elliot had signed on with Rhodes Island, so while they weren't more than acquaintances at that point, they did know each other well enough to carry on a basic conversation.] I can tell — I know — that wasn't where we met.
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It all starts rapidly clicking into place, then, like a puzzle that Sesa doesn't want to complete. His only solace here is that Elliot didn't forget him entirely, because, well...he's not sure how he would have coped with that. Poorly, if at all.
His expression, though a bit hard to read, carries a deep sadness etched into his features. It isn't as if their first meeting was anything grand or special, especially when they both weren't exactly best friends at the start. But it still meant something. Means everything, now, given that they're bethrothed to be wed someday.
Sesa stands opposite Elliot in the workshop now as they discuss it, worrying the engagement ring he still wears on his finger.]
...what a cruel thing. As if the Creature hasn't taken enough from you already. Your pain, your suffering...now your memory.
[...]
And you don't remember...anything? Just as you said?
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[He forgot Heavyrain, just like Hypergryph—]
That is all it took. Perhaps because of the importance of it, though even without it, I know I would not be where I am if it weren't for you. Do not worry your ring so. [He reaches out to take Sesa's hand, giving it a squeeze. Elliot's hands are quite a bit more slender, yet still calloused from years of tinkering with his electrical devices and machines.] I remember every other moment we've spent together, and my feelings for you are only strengthened. It cannot take that from me.
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The Forest did not take him. That's what matters.
He feels his throat tighten a little, prompting him to draw Elliot in close so he can press their lips together in a kiss that's as passionate as it is tinged with sadness. He runs the fingers of his free hand through the Liberi's long hair, breathing against his lips the moment they part, ever so slightly.]
I love you. More than life itself. And I'm...so very thankful you are still here.
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[When he leaves this world, it'll probably be because of his Oripathy... but let's not think about that. Let's think about embracing Sesa instead, which is what he's doing now, arms around his neck.]
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The reassurance is appreciated. I know well you are more resilient than most give you credit for. You have persisted through ordeals that would take down a weaker man.
[It’s said with such excessive fondness it’s kindof disgusting, actually. He’ll embrace him right back, too, pressing a kiss just to the edge of one of his head-wings.]
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Come, dear, let us lie down. Admittedly, I did not bathe in the Garden — being dead, I suppose, removes the need for basic human needs such as bathing and food — and I would enjoy soaking in our tub with you.
[He doesn't feel dirty and gross except for the normal forest grime from the travel, but like... it's the principle of the thing. He needs to feel like a person again. He needs a bath with his fiance.]
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It would be my pleasure, my heart. Truth be told, I could certainly use it myself...
[He uh
Well he's not going to say he's been depression not-bathing for a couple days, but he's not going to say he HASN'T either-]
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He knows the sight will be upsetting. He's trying, somewhat, to hide them. His back scars from his time as a slave, well, Sesa has seen those ten thousand times before... but these are new. These are far more raw emotionally.]
Allow me to wash your hair for you, my love.
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He's told Vash off already. He could have killed him to make a point, as revenge, but...he couldn't. But he made it clear that if this happened again, he'd not have mercy the next time. He's still not sure if such things would make him feel better, or worse. He just knows that this whole situation has weighed hard on them both, and he is thankful Elliot could actually come back to life.
If he couldn't...Sesa isn't sure how that would have changed him. He just knows it would have been very, very bad.
His tail drags the floor as he makes his way to the tub's edge, dropping articles of clothing as he goes. Scaled shoulderblades flex as he tosses his jacket and shirt onto the floor nearby before carefully stepping into the water alongside Elliot, shifting to face away from him so his hair can be washed more easily.]
Thank you.
[...]
If you're hurting at all, please say so. We can see if there's something at the clinic that will help.
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[And he's super not interested in trying. Just let him rest.
Either way, he's lathed up his hands and is happily combing his fingers through Sesa's hair. It's scruffly, but soft, and he truly did miss getting to do this much.]
Allow yourself to relax. You've done your part.
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I will. For you, I promise.
[He promises he will try to stop being a neurotic mess for like, two seconds-]